Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
What changed your mind?
Being sober
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
