Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize