There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian