Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
