he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
jump out the window naked night went bad
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize