check it out our google latitudes are spooning
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
