Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
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I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
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Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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