Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm determined to sit on that face.