Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?

(770): View more from Georgia

b/c u have herpes

(310): View more from California

No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.

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(310): Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss? (770): b/c u have herpes (310): No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole. http://tfl.nu/unxh

Replies (19) Good night (1052) Bad night (5537)
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(616): View more from Michigan

If i could tip my vagina, i would.

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(616): If i could tip my vagina, i would. http://tfl.nu/vria

Replies (7) Good night (3418) Bad night (509)
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(407): View more from Florida

I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"

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(407): I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt" http://tfl.nu/48bw

Replies (14) Good night (3253) Bad night (912)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?

(1-337): View more from Louisiana

4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds

(337): View more from Louisiana

mom cant say that college never taught us math

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(337): if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning? (1-337): 4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds (337): mom cant say that college never taught us math http://tfl.nu/a37s

Replies (41) Good night (4298) Bad night (600)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...

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(978): guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out... http://tfl.nu/78da

Replies (23) Good night (853) Bad night (5254)
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(815): View more from Illinois

May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.

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(815): May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago. http://tfl.nu/4qky

Replies (10) Good night (6594) Bad night (1046)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.

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(603): I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning. http://tfl.nu/y7jt

Replies (7) Good night (2240) Bad night (858)
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(850): View more from Florida

They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers

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(850): They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers http://tfl.nu/xy1w

Replies (9) Good night (1069) Bad night (2159)
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(773): View more from Illinois

what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?

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(773): what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture? http://tfl.nu/g8fq

Replies (4) Good night (854) Bad night (1473)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.

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(612): I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that. http://tfl.nu/cvm1

Replies (3) Good night (757) Bad night (1593)
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(925): View more from California

Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.

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(925): Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life. http://tfl.nu/t7ml

Replies (23) Good night (1299) Bad night (2402)
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(951): View more from California

You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.

(1-951): View more from California

This is the first time I'm hearing this information.

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(951): You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you. (1-951): This is the first time I'm hearing this information. http://tfl.nu/wdlz

Replies (20) Good night (3745) Bad night (625)
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(925): View more from California

I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...

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(925): I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year... http://tfl.nu/2wth

Replies (2) Good night (911) Bad night (396)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Still dying that you shit outside

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(267): Still dying that you shit outside http://tfl.nu/a3uv

Replies (5) Good night (419) Bad night (288)
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(917): View more from New York City

I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts

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(917): I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts http://tfl.nu/w8os

Replies (2) Good night (246) Bad night (720)

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