you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
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