You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
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He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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