she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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