Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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