he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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