so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
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