help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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