So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
