This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
How's work?
Spinning.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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