A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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