Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
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She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
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Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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