omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize