I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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