what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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