just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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