Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
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you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
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We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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