what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.