I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize