booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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