You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
