wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize