whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
