remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.