Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just saw a hot homeless man
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She's the barista slut.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.