I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY