can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
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so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
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As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.