On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I think people are normalizing furries
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
