I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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