; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize