so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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