honey bunches of taint.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
