u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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