I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER