You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha