do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.