I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
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I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
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We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?