Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?