I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
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So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
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New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live