You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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