Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
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best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
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You may now shotgun with the bride
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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