I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
