forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
