My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize