He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.