I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize