Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
