would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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