If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
