is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
