It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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