Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
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